Ponders of a lonely kitten.

My Sir has gone  to work on another city for the summer months. He will be home most weekends but that time will mostly be devoted to His family.
I am struggling with this a bit because I had gotten very used to seeing him for a about 6- 12 hours a week(2 evenings a week) well since he is gone I am not getting that time and I really missed it last night.
The grown up part of me understands, the strong submissive in me knows her place and that His family comes first and that the kids need him especially the boys  when he is home.  His wife needs him too.
But the other parts of me just want some of his time. I am doing my very best to not get all weirded out and think he won't want me or has found someone new. That is the part of me that I have to keep a handle on so it does not become a a raging storm.
I honestly do not think I need to worry about that. I would feel better if He would /could tell me he loves me, but I also understand that this is his first real D/s relationship so the emotions are new. A love of a Dominant for His submissive  is different then the love of a boyfriend for his girl. Sir says I am slowly building a hut in his heart to live in, so I will trust that he Is not looking for another  and won't leave me with out some sort of cause .  This is a good exercise in my trust building  not only for me to trust him but for me to trust me and for him to trust me. Maybe the separation will have good impact on our relationship.
Hoping to see him this weekend.
Traveling on a new road.
Kit

DAY 3 of my rediscovery journey

"How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?"

I know I am at the least a submissive and more likely a slave, for many reasons.
I have been " submissive " in non lifestyle ways for my entire life. I just thought they were how one treated others.
I have always fed my partner before myself, asked what i should wear, cooked the foods he liked- to the exclusion of things I like.
It was not until after my divorce  and being a "submissive wife" ( in the terms of the church ) for 23 years that I learned there was a name for it and it had a place. However even an a child my goal my job was to make life as easy for others as I could. I a greater number of ways it  was a relief when i did finally figure out it had a name and a place for now I only  really have to worry about making those i serve lives easier.
I know that I am a submissive because I have tried not to be but that only makes me very unhappy and crazy on a bad way.
The expression of my submission is the joy in my soul-
I feel complete.
I feel wanted.
I feel needed.
I find happiness,joy and peace.
I am able to stop the outside world and focus my attention on just the one I am serving. I find this to be extremely centering and calming for me.

The flip side of all of those things is when I feel or fear that I have failed almost anyone in my life that I really care about. The idea of letting anyone down can sometimes overwhelm me so not i do my best to stop and focus on the fact that I only have to make those i call Sir happy.